Clinging Onto Hope | 我的世界开始下雪

Finally, end of scout course. 6 long weeks… It ended on a very high note… Everybody getting their “overrated hat”… what the hell… like what my friend said: It’s just a hat… hahax…It was a very packed 6 weeks, but I felt that there are more rest time cos of the pple that like things to be done chop chop… thank goodness they exist on earth, otherwise we would all be dry corpse now… Lost a bit of weight, even though I didn’t bother to measure. (cos there is no way for me to measure? Hahax…) After all the walking to our destinations, running away from enemies, lack of food and water for that 1 week plus, it will be a miracle if anyone of us gain weight. During these few weeks, learn quite a lot of stuff. But those things that require memorizing are all left somewhere down my drainage system… Accomplish a lot of first in my life, some of which going through once is definitely enough. I also realise that there were a lot of big shots who went during our course to look see look see. Then I realised that everybody in life knows how to wa-yang… or at least more or less know a bit. And I wonder why the big shots never think about it… quite obvious lor… maybe let us have some pride la… that’s so nice of them… hahax.

I had a lot of thoughts and feelings about things that happened, but I cant remember much now, maybe cos I don’t like to dwell on issues that will make me gloomy for the next hour again. There are times when I wish that I was one of those characters in Chinese martial arts movie, just use my palm and the person in front of me would be dead/ seriously wounded. At the same time I would wish that I have a laptop in hand at that moment and blog my feelings down. Then again, since I have forgotten about it, I shall just leave it forgotten, and forever.

After tmr, I will be moving back to my unit. So it is another long journey there again, every time when I book in/out. And the bikers/drivers will get to clock mileage again… hope they don’t do any stunts like last time… I am not going to get myself prepared to lose a team-mate. Anyway, I am sure they will be fine… juz like how the non-drv pple are surviving doing the fatigue work. There are times I really wish to juz hide somewhere and not be found, for once. Juz once will do… but I guess I never gave myself any options at all… hahax…

在寒冷的夜晚，我会回想从前。在伤感的时候，我会怀恋往事。紧紧握住那么一点，那么虚幻的记忆，足以让我度过那些煎熬的时光。或许只有我会那么想，但是我不曾后悔当初所发生的一切， 因为它证明了我曾经活过，曾经拥有。只是不能天长地久，但我也无可奈何。

前尘往事成云烟消散在彼此眼前
就连说过了再见也看不见你有些哀怨
给我的一切你不过是在敷衍
你笑的越无邪我就会爱你爱得更狂野
总在刹那间有一些了解
说过的话不可能会实现
就在一转眼发现你的脸
已经陌生不会再像从前
我的世界开始下雪
冷得让我无法多爱一天
冷得连隐藏的遗憾都那么地明显
我和你吻别在无人的街
让风痴笑我不能拒绝
我和你吻别在狂乱的夜
我的心等著迎接伤悲
想要给你的思念就像风筝断了线
飞不进你的世界也温暖不了你的视线
我已经看见一出悲剧正上演
剧终没有喜悦我仍然躲在你的梦里面
总在刹那间有一些了解
说过的话不可能会实现
就在一转眼发现你的脸
已经陌生不会再像从前
我的世界开始下雪
冷得让我无法多爱一天
冷得连隐藏的遗憾都那么地明显
我和你吻别在无人的街
让风痴笑我不能拒绝
我和你吻别在狂乱的夜
我的心等著迎接伤悲
我和你吻别在无人的街
让风痴笑我不能拒绝
我和你吻别在狂乱的夜
我的心等著迎接伤悲

Just a few weeks ago, we were talking about the good old times. How we wish we are back in the place we all knew and remember. You were right: Keys to a sense of belonging… How nice it sounds… Juz the way it should be.

Back to reality, will be flying on the 27th or 28th… still not sure which day. Please pray that I will not be eaten up by some wild animals and civilized “animals” in Thailand. If everything goes well, I will be back on the 20th next month. I probably will blog about adventures in Thailand when I am back. Then again maybe not, no point to blog cos who will believe that such wild things actually happen? Just like my course… (you realise the details were all left out) Wont know and understand unless you have gone through it… It is juz…… Diaoz… hahax… can hear my bunkmates imitating my iconic diao sound… hahax…More stories when I am back. Cheers!